“You know that after all you are a lucky woman, you have friends, a relationship, a home, a job, lots of hobbies, animals that love you, in short, everything you wanted, but it’s like everything else on the other side of a glass, unattainable, and useless.”
~ Comment by Kikka io, a member of BoredPanda.com
If you thought this was some kind of guide, I’m sorry. It’s not. Because what I’m here to say is, happiness is not an art. Happiness is a gift you only get to experience on a temporary basis. At least, it is in my case. This is something I’ve written to say, depression is not always based on circumstance. More often than not, it’s nothing to do with it. So I decided to open a small window and give you a morsel of my life.
I don’t reveal much of myself in my work. I try to show you who I am inside. I’ve been told I do it quite well. But today I’m tired of being anonymous. I’m too set in my ways to tell you everything, but I’ll do what I can.
Right now, I’m listening to Amhrán Na Farriage from the film Song Of The Sea, sung by Lisa Hannigan. I’m lying in the sun, on a round blanket/towel I put on the grass. The blanket is red with mandalas on that are beige, purple, green and yellow. My friend gave it to me as a present. Hanging in front of my face is a colourful bracelet my friend plaited in my hair for me. My hair is very dark brown, and most people think it looks black. Every now and then an ant wanders onto my notebook, across my stuff I’m writing. I’m writing in an A4 notebook with blue lines in, and I’m writing in blue biro. A twist to this tale is I’m writing in runes. Yes, you read that right. A few months ago I decided I wanted to write in code so nobody could read what I’d written. So I googled runes, picked an alphabet, and learned it. Now I can write quickly and neatly in a whole different alphabet. That’s what this post’s picture is: it’s a picture of this post, first draft.
My dog just came to join me. He’s a soppy giant called Woody. I just gave him a big hug. Soppy animal. I love him.
Well, the sky’s still blue. I forgot to mention I’m under a cherry plum tree. There’s a lovely breeze, and it’s still warm, but I better get a move on, cause the sun’s on its way down.
Over and out, for now…
My Playlist: Music That Played When I Wrote This Post.
- A Sky Full Of Stars, By Coldplay
- Tired, By Alan Walker ft. Gavin James
- Amhrán Na Farriage, Sung By Lisa Hannigan
- Cancer, Cover By Twenty One Pilots
- Counting Stars, By OneRepublic
- Curl Up And Die, By Relient K
- Doubt, By Twenty One Pilots
- Drive, By Incubus
- Unforgettable, By French Montana ft. Swae Lee
- Good Life, By OneRepublic
- Holocene, By Bon Iver
- Apologize, By Timbaland ft. OneRepublic
- Just Say Yes, By Ken Andrews
- Photograph, Cover By Adera ft. Mikha Tambayong
- Secrets, By OneRepublic
- Shine, By Years And Years
- Stay, Cover By Jasmine Thompson
- Welcome Home, Son, By Radical Face
- Who I Am Hates Who I’ve Been, By Relient K
Yes, I do like OneRepublic a lot. Stop judging me! Why are you walking away!? Dang it. Bye.