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First of all, I owe you guys an apology, and secondly an explanation.

I am SO sorry I haven’t been posting regularly, I really am.

What can I say? Illness crept up on me, and instead of getting well again I fell into an unforgiving pit of depression. I still haven’t climbed out of it, but I’m trying. Many of you know how seductive the claws of our monster can be.

This poem also asks the much avoided question… are we really depressed? Or are we choosing to be? And is there a difference?

So as a comeback, I’ve written a poem about depression. Poetry takes what I want to say and splays it out on the ground in an aesthetic pattern that people understand.

My blogs have always been my saviour, and I thank you all for reading and sticking by me. Thank you guys. Really. ❤


The hulking monster beckons me

I have no choice but to obey

For this cruel existence ignores my plea

And continues to pass me by

Choked in the arms of my monster

It leaves no room for me to breathe

He called me into his beautiful arms

I fell for all his sleek charms

As soon as he possessed my love, he owned me

My prince became the beast

And everyone called me an evil voodoo queen

It sickens me to my stomach and my soul

But I have to admit, I falter at his touch

The illusion of safety was better than danger

A gullible wench such as me had no choice

Weeping in fear, I turned to my advisor

But my heart walked away from me

Left with nothing but my captor, my mind collapsed

To this day I remain unsure

Do I have a choice I refuse to make?

Or am I truly captured in his cold embrace?

~ Bluebell Rizzi


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Almost, Almost

Queer librarian blogs mostly about books

© Felipe Adan Lerma - All Rights Reserved - Blogging at WordPress Since 2011 :)

Age 71 & Still Painting! ♥️ Fine Art, Decorative & Interior Design

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