I wish it wasn’t such an effort to say the right thing.

What used to come easily is now stilted, filtered until the real meaning is so diluted that it’s a completely different colour.

Why is it so hard for me to say what I mean?

Well, I do know why.

But being hurt has never scared me before… still, experience is a killer.

No matter how hard I try, I can’t invest like I used to.

Whatever I do, I feel like I’ll end up hated and abandoned again.

Which is why I find myself writing and re-writing messages, clamming up, lying by ommission, leaving my phone off for days.

I don’t like the cynic I’m becoming.

In fact, I’m quite scared of her.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Website Powered by WordPress.com.

Up ↑

Almost, Almost

Queer librarian blogs mostly about books

© Felipe Adan Lerma - All Rights Reserved - Blogging at WordPress Since 2011 :)

Age 71 & Still Painting! ♥️ Fine Art, Decorative & Interior Design

The Light is On

Thoughts, Stories, Poems

Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind

"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"

Alex's Reflections

Classic music composer who wants to share his writing with everyone.


I read, rant and write ;)

Poems for Warriors

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Ps 147:3

A Witch of a Woman

musings and meanderings

Shine Bright Site

Everyone deserves to shine

%d bloggers like this: