That Is The Question

Let me ask you a simple question.

Who are you?

In answer, many people might say their name. Others would reply, “I don’t know.”

I went from the latter to the former, but recent events have forced me to think more deeply about this.

For a very long time, my self hatred led me to believe that, while I had a nice enough face, I was the ugliest, nastiest, most evil disgrace ever to have been inflicted on the earth.

Arrogant, I know 😉

When I finally stopped hating myself, I was left with nothing to define myself.

Who was I?

I wrote a list of things I liked and disliked, and for a while I was content with that, but not anymore.

I think what I want to know the most is how the people around me see me.

What do they think of me as? Kind? Mean? Lazy?

I like to think of myself as kind, but a quote I’ve been seeing a lot lately is:

“The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

I certainly hope it’s not an omen.

In reality, knowing who you are depends on how you define “knowing” – is it who you are in your head? Is it your religion, or what you’ve been through? Is it how you come across to the general public?

Something I’d be very interested to know is how different I am in writing. Am I the same? I’ll probably never know. And perhaps that’s the best part of who we are:

The fact that we’ll never truly know.

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Almost, Almost

Queer librarian blogs mostly about books

© Felipe Adan Lerma - All Rights Reserved - Blogging at WordPress Since 2011 :)

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