Where Is My…

Link to the artist here

This is my brain, at 2am. It’s not directed at anyone, I only hope that someone with similar problems can feel less alone after reading this.


Where Is My…

Weakling, weakling, failure
Look at you
Crying on the floor
In dirty clothes
With tangled hair
And salt on your cheeks
You’ve let everything go
How did you not notice?

Stupid, stupid, delusional
Look at you
You’re so weak
It’s all your own doing
You’re poisoning yourself
With your sick and twisted brain
Now everything’s sliding through your parted fingers
Crashing down on your head

Idiot, idiot, crazy bitch
Look at you
Making all of this up
I suppose you’re going to hurt yourself?
All for more attention that they won’t give
You know they hate you really
No matter what they say
They’re all hateful liars

Psycho, psycho, dumb as a post
Look at you
Nobody really loves you
Nothing matters
Especially not you
No, you are nothing
As worthless as dust
Just an inconvenience

Evil, evil, rotten to the core
Look at you
Sitting there and rotting
Think of everything you could be doing
You know there’s people dying out there
Maybe if you did too
The world would be better
You’re so ungrateful

Look at you
Everyone’s better off without you
So just go
Leave everyone alone
Because even the oxygen you use is a waste.

~ Bluebell Rizzi

15 thoughts on “Where Is My…

Add yours

  1. it is hard to read this one ,… because I know.
    Depression is merciless … but you do the “write” thing by just doing something to keep yourself from falling down ….. and one day the light of realization will come.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The inner child in you that is wounded and throws arrows of hatred towards itself.
    Can your higher self, your soul part, the mother/adult in you, take care of this child? It seems to scream for loving care!! This is how I read it: a lost inner child that screams for love, that does want to matter, wants to have the space and acknowledgment to exist.
    It’s all underneath these words and thoughts..
    A suggestion: you could write another piece from the perspective of the adult in you and how you take care of that child? How you react to such words? Just imagine there is an actual child before you who says this all.. or imagine what you would say if a friend would tell you such things.
    It could be healing if you would do it and it could help to strengthen that other voice in you πŸ™‚β€οΈβ€οΈπŸŒˆ

    Liked by 2 people

    1. So wise ❀
      That's exactly what happens, though I could never have worded it that well!
      That is a really brilliant idea! I'm definitely going to do that ^ ^ ❀
      Thank you so, so much for reading and commenting ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I don’t know if this helps, but…
    I’ve found that staring your “monster” down and choosing to look it in the eyes is the first step to freedom. The Thing that keeps gnawing at you -that keeps tearing at your life and happiness- is you, and at the same time isn’t. If you begin to notice it as a voice outside yourself, then you can start to answer.
    You are exceptionally hard on yourself, and although I don’t know why, I’m sure that it is undeserved. From what I’ve read of your blog, you are a sweet caring person. You don’t have to be a superhero to save the world. Start by loving yourself a little, if you can.
    Flowers have a way of spreading when you take care of the ones closest to you.
    So, take care of your own Bluebell. πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aaaaa this made me cry! ❀ ❀ ❀
      Thank you so much ❀
      That is truly excellent advice, and I will be trying very hard to follow it – your wonderful comments will be replaying in my head on sleepless nights, so I know I'll remember ❀
      These comments found me at a really low moment, and cast a beam of light into the darkness ❀ thank you so, so so much!!!! ❀ ❀
      Means so much, I can't explain how much! Thank youuuu!!!! ❀ ❀ ❀ β™₯β™₯β™₯β™₯β™₯

      Liked by 1 person

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