It creeps up on you, sometimes.

You slowly power down without noticing.

Then one morning, you wake up and realise that you went to sleep at 4am three times in a row, that you’re getting up later, that when you’re left on your own you stare at walls, romantic films make you cry and you can’t go out in public because if you see a happy couple you might walk in front of a car.

When you finally see that you’re a miserable heap of tears, you don’t know how to make it better.

The unhappiness is like tinnitus, always in the background.

And if you don’t know where the blood is coming from, how can you tend the wound?

“You’re just creating things to be miserable about because you’re bored. ”

All my life I’ve heard this. That’s like telling a schizophrenic that it’s all in their head. Uh, hello, that’s the problem?

My brain does what it wishes, and there’s nothing I can do about my unhappiness except wait for it to go away and leave me alone.


4 thoughts on “Shadow

Add yours

  1. I’m so sorry to read this… I’ve been there myself so I know a bit of how you must be feeling… I really hope it gets better real soon…

    Btw that line “And if you don’t know where the blood is coming from, how can you tend the wound?”
    So simple yet so powerful…

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Website Powered by

Up ↑

Almost, Almost

Queer librarian blogs mostly about books

© Felipe Adan Lerma - All Rights Reserved - Blogging at WordPress Since 2011 :)

Age 71 & Still Painting! ♥️ Fine Art, Decorative & Interior Design

The Light is On

Thoughts, Stories, Poems

Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind

"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"

Alex's Reflections

Classic music composer who wants to share his writing with everyone.


I read, rant and write ;)

Poems for Warriors

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Ps 147:3

A Witch of a Woman

musings and meanderings

Shine Bright Site

Everyone deserves to shine

%d bloggers like this: