It’s your birthday today. I did the good friend thing, I sent you messages and told you to call anytime.
Not that you’d want to.
God, I wish we’d worked out.
What I wouldn’t give, just to be able to pick up the phone and say, “Hi. I love you. Happy birthday!”
But I can’t. For so many reasons. Life deals some shitty cards sometimes.
I know you’ve had a hard time since we broke up, and I wish you’d let me be there for you, because I really do love you.
Just… not in the way you want me to.
I might be seeing you again soon. I’m so nervous. I don’t want to hurt you, but I’m a pretty toxic person – no, okay, I need to stop calling myself that. I hurt people without meaning to, that’s my problem.
So I’m really, really scared of hurting you again. Lonely people do stupid things.
But I swear, I will do everything in my power to protect you from the evil side of my brain.
I won’t let it hurt you.